Scattered thoughts

Well im back at school once again except this time im not a student which is great! But its been a rough transition. This summer was a great summer but at the same time was a very draining and challenging summer. I didn't really have time to process what happened up at camp and transition into my new job here at cbu. I moved down on a Saturday and hit the ground running that Monday. So its been difficult so to speak trying to get back up on my feet from the demanding summer. But GOD is bigger than my minute problems and HIS power is perfected in my time of weakness which is good to know cause I always feel that I am weak. When it comes to Pine Summit and even here at CBU, people look up to me and turn to me in times of ambiguity and chaos which doesn't bother me at all but does end up taking its toll on me. Its hard to be strong for everyone and on top of that try to maintain my chaotic life. When it comes to my friends and family there always seems to be something going on which throws me for a loop but yet im still in a position to fight those thoughts and try to lead a group of people towards a common goal. Which sometimes is easy and at other times is very draining. Then fighting the good fight becomes a tougher battle for me to fight. Part of me just wants to be young and careless with my life and not worry about being responsible but that's just me wanting to take the easy way out of things. But those thoughts do cross my mind. The constant mental battle that goes through my head is something that most people don't really get to see. One cause I don't really allow people to see it and two, most people think that things are going great for me. Which most of the time things are going good. Even though life gets hard at times I am still very thankful for what I have and I know that there are plenty who are going through harder times than myself. But sometimes life does suck, and that's ok. And from a human side of things, my life has sucked for most of my life. But like I said before, GOD is bigger than my "crappy" life. I am blessed beyond belief and sometimes I tend to forget that. Its so easy to focus on the negative things in life to where they start to over shadow the many blessings that the Lord pours out on us each and everyday.... So ill continue on in this thing we call life and see where it leads me. And as I go through these different seasons of my prayer is that I may be consistent in one thing and that's dwelling on the things of the LORD.