Friday, August 17, 2007

... a glimpse into the depths...

So I'm in Phoenix, away from those who I most care about and I must say,that at times, its very hard. Change is always hard it seems. Sometimes change is very necessary but that doesn't mean that its not hard sometimes. I'm having trouble adjusting here a bit. I mean, I love the people that are here and that I work with. I think that they are great and I respect them all very much. But its still difficult to get use to the fact that this is my new home. And that these new wonderful people are my family. The biggest change though deals with my relationship with Ruth. Its not easy going from seeing each other everyday to not being able to see each other or being blessed enough to see her face to face. We have managed to work something out that allows to each see each other but its still not the same. I cant smell what perfume she is wearing which all her perfumes smell amazing. I cant reach over and hold her hand. I cant walk up to her and give her a big hug which I love to do. Also its hard when it comes to communicating. Either everyday talk, feelings deep within, or daily struggles. We are now forced to talk on the phone which sucks cause neither of us is phone people. But now silence is perceived as something is wrong to where as before is was OK, cause we could still see each other. Its not always easy to keep the conversation going. Its not always easy to communicate feelings that don't make sense. Its not always easy trying to be honest with each other about what we are feeling. But none the less, we are both up for the challenge. Its not always going to be easy and so far it all hasn't been bliss but its been good. We have been able to have amazing conversations that have penetrated the depths of who we are as people which has been refreshing. Yes this long distance thing isn't always easy but I'm learning to deal with it. This is just a little glimpse of what has been on my heart. But keep one thing clear, I am truly blessed by GOD with all of this and will be grateful for it when I look back on it. And I think Ruth would say the same. Continue to work on our hearts GOD and shape us into the people YOU want us to be.

4 comments:

Pete said...

What are you doing you silly SOB?

I miss you

Becks said...

Big Game! Please know that you are MISSED SO MUCH! I was thinkin' bout ya today, wondering how you are doing, and missing hanging out! I feel ya on the whole life change, and I haven't had to deal with such a big move... so I can only imagine how hard it is... keep your chin up - we shall all have to come visit soon - ROAD TRIP - HOLLA!

Anonymous said...

James,
Hey we moved out to poo town (phoenix) one year ago and we are also still getting used to it. It does not feel like home to us and we are struggling. We also survived a long distance relationship too.... through this time you will build the communication skills and set patterns most couples do not get to acquire early in their relationship. If you need anything please let me know. We live out in Ahwatukee. My email is karina@baileyministries.org

Karina "Stampe" Bailey

Agostinho Malvezi de Oliveira said...

What are you doing you silly SOB?

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