This picture right here kind of describes how i feel right now. As of lately i have been real busy with coaching and with G.A. stuff and R.A. interviews and what not along with trying to get ready to lead and ISP to Utah. Now as these past three weeks come to an end life is starting to hit me. Things that i haven't wanted to deal with because i have been so busy are starting to plague my thoughts. And now with the fact of trying to find another job or should i say sending out my resumes to people, my heart is starting to way heavy with life's choices and questions. Part of me just wants to leave and go far away and start a new life but the other part of me is afraid to. The scared part just wants to stay here because i already have a good base of friends and i wouldn't have to invest so much time and energy into getting to know new people. My heart is torn. Too many choices, too many questions, too many unknowns that scare me. Part of me just wants to make certain choices and run with them but it seems that I'm waiting for others to make choices before i make mine. I don't know. So many things to say but I'm just too afraid to say them. Maybe one day ill get the courage to take a chance on things but by the time that happens my chance may be gone but if that's the way it has to go then so be it i guess. And the story goes on....
2 comments:
I know exactly what you mean. I'll pray that God gives you the wisdom and the courage to make the right decisions.
Go. That's my advice. Just go. If these friends are real friends, they will still keep in touch when you're gone. And as for having to meet new people and make new friends... you're a great guy james, and people love to be around you. Seriously. Anyone would be a fool to pass up a friendship with you. You're great! You will make friends wherever you go. So that's my advice... go. Doesn't matter where, just go. If you feel like there's nothing left for you in Riverside (which is how i feel)... then go!
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